How to help older relatives stay safe

Why older people get targeted

Scammers don't go after older people because they're easily fooled. They go after them because:

• Older people are more likely to have savings.
• They are more likely to be home and pick up the phone during work hours.
• They are more likely to trust authority (a "police officer", "bank manager", "HMRC officer").
• They are more likely to be alone with the call when the pressure is applied.

Have the conversation properly

A one-off lecture rarely sticks. A shared, low-stakes chat does. Try one of these openers:

• "Have you had any of those weird Royal Mail texts? Apparently they're going round."
• "I read about a scam where the bank rings up. Have you heard about it?"
• "There's a website where you can paste a dodgy text and it tells you. We could try one."

The point is to make scams a normal topic, so when one arrives, your relative is comfortable forwarding it to you. Embarrassment is the scammer's ally.

Three rules to agree on, in advance

1. Never act on an unexpected call. "Your bank" calling out of the blue: hang up. Then ring the bank back on the number on the back of the card. Real banks support this exactly.
2. Never give a one-time code by phone. Banks include this in every text they send. No real organisation will ever ask for it.
3. Always pause if there's urgency. Real emergencies don't need a transfer in the next 10 minutes. Pressure is the tell.

Useful phone settings

iPhone

• Silence Unknown Callers: Settings, Phone, Silence Unknown Callers. Calls from numbers not in contacts go straight to voicemail. Real people leave messages.
• Filter unknown senders (Messages): Settings, Messages, Unknown & Spam.
• Larger text and bold text: Settings, Display & Brightness. Easier to read sender details on a small screen.

Android

• Caller ID & Spam in the Phone app. Switches on automatic spam-call labelling.
• Block unknown numbers if your relative gets daily nuisance calls.
• Spam protection in the Messages app: Settings, Spam protection.

Set these up while you're visiting

• Add yourself as a trusted contact on their banking app. Most UK banks let you nominate a "trusted contact" who can be alerted to unusual activity.
• Bookmark this site: paste anything suspicious to get a calm second opinion.
• Save 7726 as a contact called "Forward scam texts here".
• Save Action Fraud's number (0300 123 2040) as a contact.
• Show them their bank's in-app chat. Most banks now support live chat for fraud reporting, easier than a phone queue.

Red flags worth memorising

Phrases to treat as automatic warning signs, no matter how convincing the caller sounds:

• "I need to move your money to a safe account."
• "I'm calling from your bank's fraud team."
• "There's a warrant out, you need to pay this fine right now."
• "You've won, but we just need to verify your card."
• "Don't tell anyone, this investigation is confidential."

If something has already happened

Don't lead with anger. Shame keeps people quiet, and silence helps the scammer most. The first line should be: "I'm really glad you told me. Let's sort it out."

Then: bank, then Action Fraud, then a careful look at any other accounts they may have used. See our guide on what to do after being scammed for the full sequence.